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Charley Koinange - Emails of Laughter
Several people have expressed on the need for laughter. Some quotes include: We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh, -Agnes. The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it, -Bill. Total absence of humor renders life impossible, -Colette. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter, -Cummings Laughter is the closest distance between two people, -Victor. Have some laughter shared from Koinange Emails of laughter.
Being a Kikuyu
Njoroge buys a cow from Ole Bogani for Kshs 20,000/- and asks him to deliver it the next day.
The next day Ole Bongani shows up at Njoroge's doorstep. " Sorry Njoroge but the cow died last night."
"OK", says Njoroge, "Give me my money back"." Sorry, I have already spent it," said Ole Bongani. "Goodness gracious!.. eha ngobe?, bring me the dead cow," says Njoroge. "I'll know what to do."
The next morning, the carcass was delivered to Njoroge. A fortnight later, Ole Bongani bumps into Njoroge and asks him what he did with the dead cow. "Oh, I entered a raffle for it to be won, and sold 150 tickets at Sh 500 each and made a profit of Kshs 75,000 I just didn't tell anybody that the cow was dead."
"But didn't people complain?" asks Ole Bongani in amazement. "Only the guy who won, so I gave him his Ksh 500 back."
One reason to say "Najivunia kuwa Mugikuyu"
My Roommate & Mum Curiousity
Mom comes to visit her son Mwangi for dinner...who lives with a Girl roommate Njambi...During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Mwangi's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she starts to wonder if there was more between Mwangi and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his Mom' s thoughts, Mwangi volunteered," I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Njambi and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Njambi came to Mwangi saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the ugali flour. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?”
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure "
So he sat down and wrote:
I 'm not saying that you did take the ugali flour from my house; I 'm not saying that you did not take the ugali flour. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Mwangi.
Several days later, Mwangi received an email from his Mother which read:
I 'm not saying that you do sleep with Njambi, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Njambi. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the ugali flour under her pillow by now. Love Mum
The Three Smiles
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. After autopsies, the pathologist calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: a Kamba, 60, died of heart failure while making love. Hence the enormous smile.
"Second body: "a Luo, 25, won a hundred thousand shillings in the sweepstakes, spent it all on whisky & cham. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the Pathologist, "this is the most unusual one. Harvester, a Luhya, 30, was struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."